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Ungraceful Club

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This seems to be a popular topic in the adoption world, right now.

Am I graceful waiter?

Or my favorite…I was a much more graceful waiter than you are.

Or relax, they will come home?

Here is my take on the situation:

December 2010…God lit my fire to get Mia home ASAP. Why? Because he knew Avah was coming home too. If things hadn’t happened the way they have for me. Mia wouldn’t be home and Avah possibly could age out. Yes aging out at age 5 years old!!!!!!

I know God’s timing is everything. HOWEVER…

Grace.

Does it make it easier for my friend Amanda adopting her 5 year old who weighs 14 pounds?  Does it matter that she knows he doesn’t get fed on Sundays or have his diaper changed? Should she just patiently wait and not fight with all her might to get home ….expedited….? Should we wait gracefully if 4 children choked to death on their bottles because they didn’t have the strength to move their head to the side? Or how about when he does get his diaper changed on the 6 other days..its once per day? He isn’t held. Or touched. Shouldn’t she get to act and scream and eat loads of Reese Cups every day? if she wants….

Even Jesus overturned the tables in the temple. Is she wrong? For wanting to spit nails..am I wrong for throwing something? Or snapping at someone? Or not even being able to read good news because all I see is bad news?

DON’T judge other waiters…if you are waiting or IF YOU HAVE WAITED in the past. We are not on the same playing field. 2012 was supposed to be the magical number quoted by Korea to shut down international adoption.

If you waited 8 months in the past…you knew that going into. KNOWING..is awesome.
I have friends going on 2 years!!!!

If I knew Avah would be home on August 15th.
I wouldn’t like it.
But I could accept the known.
You cant accept the unknown.

Every adoption is different. Every single one. They cannot be compared.

So I will say this..Blog all you want about how you were such a graceful waiter for your children. How others should handle this situation? Judge however you wish. But we will fight until our children are home. Not something you have ever had to do. Because you knew.

The Wait is what you make it.
HA….laughable.
MY dear friend Amanda….would agree. Little Keith…is waiting everyday…for his daddy to show up and hold him again.
My friend Jen who is waiting for sweet Coralie….probably asking, Why aren’t they coming?
My friend Grace who is waiting for sweet shy little Sarah, may tear up when she hears Cora say this. But we think Sarah knows….she has had a recent improvement.

See that little girl…up there. Avah….I will bring her home. I may act ugly. I may say things I regret. You can blog all you want about us not being as holy or graceful as you. I don’t care.

How about this….I don’t want to be a graceful waiter. I don’t even think that is scriptural.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it, anything you find offensive.

*****DISCLAIMER: I can not be held accountable for anything written on this blog, because I am officially quitting the graceful waiting club. Not that i was ever a high ranking member.

To be a member of the UNgraceful waiting club…. Here are the rules.

1. You must write, delete, rewrite and redelete comments on adoption forums…because your thoughts are all over the place.
2. Chocolate…you must eat pounds and pounds of it…all sorts of types…..DAILY
3. Crying once a day is considered a good day.
4. Prayer on your knees…sobbing….with the water running so your kids cant hear you is essential.

There you have it!:)

Have a good day!!

-Little Girls Room-

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I have a wonderful…fabulous….thoughtful…Godly friend, Tina. She is one of the most wonderful friends, I could ever imagine.

She came up and showed off what she can really do. She has been hiding behind medical transcription for 20 years. She is an artist!!!

LOVE LOVE LOVE!! SO ADORABLE!!!!!


Mia keeps saying, “I lobe my room and Abah’s room. See my name and Abah’s name in Hangul.”

Close up of the cherry blossom tree….ignore the quality of my Iphone photos….

Gorgeous….I ordered 2 kil.sook prints on December 29th….hoping and praying they come in. They go below the branch.:)


I love hearing Mia say. I love my room, Mama. And I Love Miss Tina.

Miss Tina may have announcement soon as her husband told me on Facebook that they were working on getting her a little friend soon.

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

~A Shout Out~

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Life…what an adventure.
Daily, I am reminded of his goodness.
And my failures.
My sins.
Driving the nails in.
Of his Awesomeness.
Every.single.day.

This is a shout out to all the moms. 
The moms who send their kids to school.
The moms who home school.
The moms who have 10 children.
The moms who have 1 child.
The moms who have lost a child or more.
The women who are mothers at heart…waiting for their child.
The women who may never have a child of their own.
But more and more recently, I have been wanting to give a shout out to those moms who work. I know some of you might be surprised, that I am not really the against.women.working, public.school.hating, denim.skirt.wearing, Burkenstock, against.vaccines, or hippy mother.
Honestly, I am not. Although I do find those homeschoolers to be much more interesting, than the Sonoma or Adoption tshirts and jeans I prefer to wear.
Below is my kitchen…..on a typical school morning. Mia took this picture a few weeks ago. 
I almost deleted it. But for some reason, I kept it.
Its a real picture of  how a weekend day runs around here.
Stacks of books.3 laptops.3 IPods, pencils. erasers. Legos. backpacks.worksheets.drinks.diet coke.Lys*l wipes.of course.breakfast all over the counter.
You get the picture.
A mess.

This mess happens while I am sitting right there. This my view every weekday morning.
It stresses me out. I need to grocery shop. I need to make the kids lists. Prepare for bible class I teach. Prepare for Wednesday night bible study. I need to blog. I need to wake up extra early to do my devotion. I need to plan VBS. I need to get the 3 puppet teams more in sync. I need to mail bills. I need to love my husband. I need to clean out the van. I need to call a friend. I need to plan a family vacation. I need clean clothes. I need to diet today. I need to put on makeup. I need to clean up. I need to use some of those beloved Lys*l wipes. I need to take a bath and the list goes on and on. I need to curl up on the couch and listen to my child read. And you all know I need to check the adoption forums to find out when is Avah coming home.

BUT…

what if I had to work a job on top of live out what can only be a direct command from the Savior to my heart…because there is no other way I am homeschooling 5 going on 6 kids on my own. NO.WAY.

If had a job..I would have to do the things up above AND go to work.
If they do not go to work….they may work at home.
Yes some people have to work.
Its not wrong.
Its not sinful.
Its not anything to be judged for.
But something to look at in AWE….she works at home and has a job out of the house.
What?? Like the Proverbs 31 woman..yes it is even scriptual.

I have an incredible friend. Who works…and home schools. Yes she needs an award or something.

We have no idea what goes in everyone’s daily life.
We have no reason to judge  another person’s life.
God has made each and everyone of us different.
We have different needs and wants.
I need diet.coke. and a new purse on occasion.
No big deal…..

Today, I went to an awesome Home school convention. 
I had realization today….that with life comes change. I have been expecting too much of my kids and myself. We are struggling with Algebra. I need more time to do History and Science…the way my dream home school will run. But guess what…I don’t have the time. That was making me so incredibly sad. I love the Charlotte Mason method. I love Apologia Science. But it wasn’t happening.
There is a great family, the Queen family that has their own booth at our home school fair. She has many children and has been through about all of it. There website is http://www.queenhomeschool.com. She knows what it is like to have a high schooler that you need to prepare for college plus also have toddlers at home. 
I know I should have this down, homeschooling down to an art….but I do not.
11 years simply has not been long enough for me to get it all.
I must be a slow learner.
But I have a plan for the 2012-2013 school year….and it makes me Rejoice. I am so thankful for being around my home school friends and being encouraged.
I have a plan…it doesn’t involve the curriculum I have heard to be so successful.
But it does involve what will work for each of my individual children.

Randomness

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I am sorry my blog stinks lately. I have a blog brewing in my mind some where. It just requires the time to sit down and do it. I love blogging from my phone but realize the quality isnt as nice as when I blog with real pictures from my camera and write better from my computer.

Oh well.. Here we go.

This is my most favorite all time picture! I even think they look alike! I am married to the most wonderful man in.the.entire.universe. Last night I was running Camye to a friends house, dress shopping with Chloe for the masquerade, and then taking her to a ice skating party. So Mia stayed home… I always worry if she is anxious … Well looking below was what I got about an hour into my errands!! I love it.


This is Mia’s best friend… Elle. Mia covered her in post it notes…. Thought it was so cute.


And more Avah Bows are Being mailed to me!!! 20 more! I have sold the first 10… And pretty sure the rest are sold as well.


I am off for a day alone with homeschool mom friends at a Homeschool Fair… No kids.

I believe I will start my day with a White Choc Mocha Frappuchino hold the whip at Starbucks.

Have a great day!:)

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Busy.. Busy…

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Okay.. I am so caught up in the EP mess that my blog is suffering.
The other day, I was running Mia to the doctor. I told her to get ready… And she grabbed her shoes, 2 dolls and of course her purse.

We got in the car and she had to hold ALL of it.

She is so sweet!!

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Why are you giving up????

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I have had it enough. I have 2-3 friends giving up..:(
I have given birth to 4 children..
I have miscarried one precious little one.
I have adopted Mia.
I am in the process of adopting Avah.

The toughest thing for me to experience in all that is that I miscarried. Last week when I had a friend lose her little girl beccause the foster family was adopting her. I told my husband she has to be feeling some of the same feelings as when I miscarried. My heart ached for her. ACHED!!!

My heart hurts for everyone who has waited so long….especially my friend Amy…since 12/2010. But what a graceful waiter…she is incredible! And she knows Parker will come home..she would wait forever.

THis sucks and this hurts….but if we give up on our children. If we turn our back and stop praying..thinking…fighting the fight to bring home our children….tell me….what feelings then will we live with forever….the feelings I bet some feel like our child’s birth mother felt. The feelings of I gave up on my child… you just gave him up for adoption…THE CHILDREN WE ARE WAITING ON….ARE IN LINE TO COME HOME!!!

THEY ARE IN LINE!!!!!! MEANING THEY WILL COME HOME!!! IF WE STOP THIS FIGHT….guess what…they get out of line. THey lose a family…they lose hope. They will probably not be rematched…because there are TONS of new babies already for the new moms and dads…so eagerly waiting to join that line!!!!!

I BEG YOU PLEASE FIGHT FOR YOUR CHILD!!!! If we don’t…guess who has his stronghold on children in orphanages…without hope…without love…without a family.

When I am hurting and when I dont want to do something…when I am tired of waiting…when I recieve an MRI like I just recieved for my Avah…guess what……I sometimes feel like I shouldnt do it. BUT GUESS WHO ELSE MIGHT HAVE FELT THIS WAY…..Jesus Christ….I am sure that cross was heavy …I am sure the sweat was running down his face and into his eyes as he walked up that hill to Calvery to die on that cross ….as he carried that cross…he probably wanted to throw it down. Why would he want to adopt us? He had never seen us. But HE did….I cant even imagine what our updates to HIM look like!!

We must continue to fight this fight…because the Korean ministry certainly is not. If we stop fighting… Satan wins. Lets WIN THIS BATTLE!!!!! It is a spiritual battle!!!!!

We all need to call Satan out on this…!! He needs to get behind us….because we are all fighting this to the end!!