Is it? Is it a wonderful life?
I started this blog after a very hard time in our life. VERY. I wanted to document the good. There is so much bad out there. I am purposely deciding to focus on the wonderful.
I have always said that this is my blog and I will blog what I want. However, I am feeling pressured to blog the bad. I am feeling that some are feeling that I am not sharing the complete truth. I am not lying. But I am not giving every detail of every other aspect of my life, so I will not be sharing every aspect of Avah’s attachment either.
Let me say…the good is oh soo good….so super sweet.
But there is also bad….after all, she was an orphan…in an orphanage…for over 3 years.
She lost her birth mother.
She lost her foster mother.
She lost her 3 caretakers.
She lost her whole world.
Yes, she gained a family, but she still lost her entire world…all she knew.
Two of her best friends left her 6 weeks before she left.
She left behind two more best friends.
She knows how they feel.
And she talks about them every.single.day.
So on top of all that…she was an orphan in a country where it is not good to be an orphan. Not that being an orphan is good anywhere..but being an orphan in an Asian country carries with it additional issues and stigmas.
I do not feel like I need to share all the details of how she is doing, but I will say this: Avah is the sweetest, most affectionate, lovable and precious little girl. She will come out of this. She will attach. She will love. She will be loved.
Kenny and I are her parents. We are responsible for her transition to family life, for her well-being, and for her development. We have not undertaken this job lightly, and believe it or not have prepared literally for years, talking to experts in person and via phone, reading countless books and articles by experts in international adoption, spending countless hours in discussions with other adoptive parents in every step of the process, and more countless hours recounting our experiences and advice to other adoptive parents behind us… While we understand that the thoughts and advice of friends and family are well-intentioned and sincere, we hope you will understand if we choose to give much heavier consideration to those who’ve been there, and to her doctors, and to our gut.
If you still do not understand our decisions and thoughts, please consider reading a book on attachment. And a book on international orphanages. Then you will see how good we have it….and how much we are already able to do that most are not. And why we choose to focus on and record the good.
So is it a wonderful life?
Oh yes…so very wonderful…..perfectly wonderful in my book. Have you seen my kids???? How could it be anything else?