I am a spit fire..but you AIN’T see nothing yet!

If you are still reading my blog…I am amazed. 
I am tired of me…I am not sure I am even can stand myself at this point.
People ask how are you doing? I get irritated. People don’t ask how I am doing? I am mad.
You don’t ask about Avah. I am mad. You do ask about Avah….I start hollering and sobbing and make everyone really uncomfortable. Yes I don’t like this AT.ALL.
I am so thankful for adoption friends. They are right now without a doubt …there.for.me. Why because they get it? I wish they didn’t get it. I wish there kids were home. 
I have one friend…the most graceful waiter I have known in this process. She has been waiting since December 2010. Yes you read that correctly. 12/2010!!! Yes, Mia came home 6/11 and we started Avah’s process in 7/11. She needs to get get her baby boy!! 
So many ask what is wrong with me? I am going to try to explain as simple as possibly….because well my face hurts. My heart hurts. 
Below..is a fabulous sign my friend made for her adopting friends. And in short, that is what I am doing…surviving. Because quite frankly I have thoughts I can not share publically.

I have several friends upset with me lately for not talking, calling, emailing, answering texts….I can’t. I just can’t. I have to Keep up with the ministries activities. I hang onto my phone until noon all day…just waiting..for a hope… a glimmer. I have conspiracy theories out my wazoo. I wont share….trust me. You would lock me up. I don’t even call and talk to my mother. I just can’t. I am a mess.
Okay so what in the world is taking so long? Good question. I do not know. Will they close? We have been promised that they are not closing.   SUPPOSEDLY, the ministry has stopped issuing EP’s  which are like Exit permits since pretty much last June. Korean adoption the smoothest international adoption in the world. The same country that let my daughter Mia home in 7 weeks…For what reason, …they are working on the law. They are working to”better” the life of orphans. ??

So let me just say this. I was called a spit fire mamma by a good friend today…guess what….SATAN…I am a spit fire. I promise you I will bring Avah home. Cora, Sarah, Paige, Simon, Maddox, Matthew, Griffin, Parker and many many other babies I know there mothers will come and get our children. SO Satan..you take that bit of information and high tail it out of our lives. You stay away from my daughter. You take your hold off of the ministry, because Jesus Christ is being called on to soften those men’s hearts every single hour of every single day. Satan you don’t stand a chance. I promise you….not only will I come and get my daughter and love her unconditionally. I will continue to adopt. I will continue to bring home my children. I know you may scoff at me…and put your demons against me and try to affect my children. You have your hold on them while in the orphanage, or you think you do? Well we are coming….Christians all over are being awakened. I only pray we can awake the sleeping giant, called our churches. We need sermons on the plight of adoption. People need to be preached and reached….and these children DO NOT need to wait and be treated as a political pawn. So I will not tolerate Satan…who is a liar and a deciever into my life. He will NOT take my Joy. He will NOT steal my daughet’s life. He will lose this battle. But the Almighty Lord will win this, I promise you HE WILL WIN THIS!!! 
Call me penecostal…Call me crazy…Call whatever you wish… I prefer to be a spit fire..I will not lose this battle. Avah will not lose this battle.

5 thoughts on “I am a spit fire..but you AIN’T see nothing yet!

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